"Can we have Fran back for the summer?" This is just about the highest compliment a person can receive in the key department. It's tough enough to survive a crazy season in our loud, obnoxious, hysterical office. To flourish and be asked to return is divine.
"I might do it for 3." This may have been the most exciting moment in the key department.
Franny. She is lovely. She is calm. She has a quietly devilish sense of humor. She made a big impression on us in a matter of a couple of months. She appreciated the love and warmth that emanated from the chocolate birthday cupcakes she received on her last day of work. Each was littered with various and sundry toys from Uncle Fun's. Bootylicious gum, army men, jewelry, etc. My particular favorite was the baby doll's severed arms, legs, and bald head drowning in chocolate. Franny left us the tiny plastic plate of spaghetti as a memento. The spaghetti has not moved from its post in a year.
Now, I don't want to alarm anyone, but Fran is a bit of a daredevil. She is also a victim of peer pressure, but not without a strugle. An average day in the key department, it was time to dare Fran to snort Purell. I think the dare was halfhearted, but the stakes began to escalate. Fran had a glimmer in her eye. Mark knew she would do it if the price was right, "I will give you a dollar to pump Purell in one nostril."
I wish I was kidding about this story.
Long pause. Fran inspected the Purell bottle. "I don't know."
"Who has some money?" Mark asked. "How about 2 dollars? I will give you 2 dollars!"
Longer pause. "I might do it for 3." There was an explosion of laughter and applause.
We breathlessly gathered around, Fran inserted the nozzle gently in her left nostril, and slowly pumped. Cheering. Hysteria. Tears of joy. Our hero. Fran left us with 3 extra dollars in her pocket. I hope it all goes straight to her college education.
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