Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Candy Corn Fail

Cooking time 5 minutes.  Clean up 1 hour.  Time in counseling to get over the shock of it all?  Indefinite.  This is my story about a Alton Brown's recipe for  candy corn.   Here are the ingredients.  


Step 1: Basically sugar in various forms, butter, dry milk.  


Step 2: Sifting.  So far, so good.
  

Step 3: Mixing.  Boiling.  Waiting for 230˚.


Step 4: Not liking the color, but going with it.  Trusting Alton Brown...


Okay this color is all wrong, but maybe it's rustic candy corn.  


When cool enough to handle, most is hard as a rock.  We fashion homemade See's Candy caramel pops from the molten material.  It's ugly, but tastes wonderful.  Try steps 1-3 again.


Hello!  The color is right!  Let's let it cool for 10 minutes.


Aaaaaand it's hard as a rock again before we can get the dye incorporated.  


This is what our candy corn looks like in the trash.  


My mom and I trudge on, and recreate Kojo Designs' Felted Wool Wine Sleeve.  And we chew on hard toffee caramel all night.  The end.  





Wine Snuggly

If you're like me, most of your friends are winos.  Next time you visit, bring them a snuggly to help hide their shame.  This design is inspired by Adventures in Dressmaking.  

First, clean out your husband's closet.  If he's testy, go to the thrift store.  Think cheap, act like a lady.   You're looking for a basic button-up shirt for this project.  Get yourself a pattern you'd never wear.  Go nuts, it's a present.  

Cut one of the sleeves off, about the length of a wine bottle.  I like my snuggly to hide the whole bottle, so that I can lie about what's inside.  You may be high class.  You might have bought an expensive Cabernet, and want to show it off to the world.  In that case, Moneybags, you can make your snuggly to reveal a little neck.   Have fun and don't stress about measurements.  


Next, flip the arm inside out, and straight-stitch the open arm that you just cut off the body.  Give yourself about a 1/4" seam allowance.  If your sleeve is an extra large, like the one shown here, you may want to "box" the seam.  That means you start at the hemline, and start stitching, almost perpendicular to that line.  You're basically creating a rectangle from a more triangle shape.  Look closely at the picture below, and you'll see these lines in orange thread.  


Now is a good time to do a fitting.  Grab one of the dozens of wine bottle lying around the house, flip the sleeve right side in, and play dress up.  If the measurements seem right, move on.  If not, there's nothing wrong with shortening the hem, or grabbing the seam ripper and giving it another shot.  When you're happy with the look, it's time to trim off the excess.  


A nice finishing touch is serging.  I don't have a serger, but you can use the zigzag setting and sew right along the edge.  In case your wine bottle rides a lot of motorcycles, or likes jumping on trampolines, this ensures durability and strength.  And it looks nice, too.


With a simple tie of a ribbon, your snuggly could be done at this point, but if you're feeling industrious, go grommet.  I got a great 1/4" grommet set from the hardware store, and it was much less expensive than the sets at the craft store.  Mark six equidistant spots along the cuffline.  Again, this is a matter of preference.  Close it up top, or give it an Izod flipped collar look.  Cut small holes where marked, and get to work with the grommet set.  It will inevitably come with instructions.  In short, you punch a hole, stick the male part of the grommet through the hole, fit the female grommet end over that, insert the grommet tool, and hammer it together.  Did I mention not to do this craft late at night? 


Now that your grommets are in place, thread a yard of ribbon through the holes.  For the aforementioned industrious crafters, use another part (like the pocket - thanks for the idea, Mom!) to sew up a cute bag to attach to the snuggly.  This can hold a business card, a petite corkscrew, or a gift card to your favorite shoppe de hooch.   Throw a grommet on the corner, and you have a way to hang it on the snuggly.


Place bottle in sleeve, and make some friends!

FYI, this is the second attempt at the Wine Snuggly, and the grommets are a little lower than previous pictures.  I like to show some wine cleavage.  Again, you could go without the grommets, but I love pissing off the neighbors.  

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

1-2-3 Batik!

Two days.  One charity.  Ten ladies.  This is the biggest and most fun UCN to date.  We're crafting for charity, and also hoping for a shot at a big prize.  Most of all, we're all learning a new craft.  Batik.  Here's how ya do it:  

Materials
100% Cotton dishcloths,
machine washed and dryed
1 lb beeswax
1 lb paraffin wax
Tarp or table cover to protect against wax
Various colors fabric dye (Dylon works better than Rit, FYI)
Various sizes paintbrushes
Electric fondue pot
Tarp to cover workspace
Buckets for dye
Large stockpot for rinsing towels

You can start with a clean white towel, or you can dye the towel to achieve more colors in your design. We started with a little of each, so you'll see both outcomes.  At right, you can see the magic of dyeing fabric in a small urban apartment.  I used a baking pan lined with plastic wrap, and tried to keep my splash factor under control.  After letting the dye sit for an hour, I rinsed and hung the towels in the sun to dry. 




















Wax-On
Speaking of small spaces, I don't know how we got ten giggly girls, and equal amount of 30" x 30" dishcloths, a fondue pot, two bottles of champagne, guac, Pub Cheese, and Snacker Crackers all in one Chicago dining room.  Somehow we managed.  The effervescent Amanda hosted this first of "Double Date UCN."  We turned her dining table diagonally, and added an extra six-foot table to her space.  We draped a couple big sheets of medical grade paper sheeting over the workspace, and placed the electric fondue pot in the center. 

On medium heat, we heated a pound each of paraffin and beeswax in the pot.  It took about ten minutes to turn to liquid.  Everyone stretched their cloths out in front of them.  We had enough room to drape the top halves on the table, and planned to paint in two stages.  Once the wax was heated through, we turned the knob down to the lowest setting and dipped our brushes.  We had a variety of very small artists' detail brushes up to 2" jobbers.  We were all a little timid.  Except Tina.  She went for it, giving us all the green light to create.  Mau would be proud of her artistic abandon.  The first stroke told a lot.  Our wax wasn't seeping right through the fabric, so we gave it a little more time to heat up, and got back to work.  Most of us had some idea of a design, but it was fun to just wing it with the wax.  It goes on just like paint, and makes the fabric translucent.  Because the wax turned cold on a dime, we had to work quickly.  And our project was done in no time. 











The dishcloths stuck to the table cover in the waxy spots, but that's nothing to worry about.  We were careful, however, not to capsize the fondue pot in extracting sticky dishcloths.  That was the end of phase one, and we found ourselves with way to much time to celebrate Kelly's engagement, and marvel at the antics of Mr. Handsome.  











Shut Up and Dye
Phase two was in my dungeonny laundry room, with access to large basins and a fearless concrete floor, indifferent to dye splotches.

You gotta do batik with cold dye, because you're working with wax.  But dissolving dye in cold water is tricky.  I suggest preparing the dye in a bucket with a couple cups hot water and salt.  Once it's all dissolved, pour the directed amount of cold water into the mix.  We wet the towels with clean, cool water, and put them in the bucket of dye.  We stirred occasionally, allowing the cloths to soak for an hour.  During that hour, we were invited across the alley to the fire station for a warmup at their fire pit.  We brought them cake pops (blog to follow), and they offered a standing invitation to have ribs at their cookouts.  Yay, firemen!

Back to reality, wearing rubber gloves, we removed the cloths from the dye, and rinsed (without wringing) in cold water until the stream ran relatively clear.  We hung the towels on a line, and when they were reasonably drip-free, I sent the girls home with their towels in plastic bags, and assigned their homework.


Wax-Off
After line drying for 24 hours, I placed one dishcloth in a large stockpot, and covered it with water.  This is where the magic happens!  I added a 1/4 cup of Dr. Bronner's Castile Soap to the water and brought to a boil.  If you do this at home, keep an eye on the pot, and stir to keep the dishcloth moving around.  You won't even need to bring it to a complete boil to see little puddles of wax coming to the surface of the water.  I let the pot gently boil for 10 minutes, and removed from heat.  I went to see a movie. 

Once the water cooled, there was a bunch of hardened wax on the top of the water, dishcloth at the bottom.  The wax will never come out if you don't wait for it to cool, trust me.  I threw as much wax as possible in the garbage, dumped the water down the drain, and repeated the boiling process with clean water. 

As a final step, I threw the towel in with my dark laundry, and washed on the cold setting.  It seems like a laborious project, but it's worth it to get the last little bits of wax off. 



Tuesday, October 19, 2010

City Called Las Cruces

Exhausted, yes.  But also energized by the taste of red chile enchiladas, sight of fuschia Crepe Myrtle, cacophonous sound of the practice hall, arid feel of desert sunshine, and the unmistakeable smell of the choir room.  And strangely nostalgic for all that heartache associated with my struggle to finish a music degree.

After years of cutting my jazz teeth on Chicago stages, I was invited back to New Mexico State University for the Jack Ward Invitational Choral Festival last weekend.  I remember my junior year of high school, my Concert Chorale was invited way back in 19--- er, in the 90's, and the excitement of sharing the stage with real college music students.  At that time of my life, I didn't plan on going on to study music.  I guess I eventually came around. 

Every year during music school, we did this festival.  Invitees were NMSU Choir alumni with successful careers in opera or education.  Although I tried my hand at both, I rested assured that I would never be invited back for either discipline.  The genesis of this invitation was actually a newspaper article about my knitting.  My university choir director, Dr. Alt read between the lines, and recognized that in addition to knitting up a storm and becoming a marketing maven in Chicago, I was also still performing.  We chatted on email and she invited me to do the concert.  We focused on gospel selections, including my favorite song to sing, Josephine Poelinlitz's arrangement of City Called Heaven.  Both the Deming High School Choir and NMSU Choirs were outstanding in their performances, and all came together for the gospel tunes.  There are no words to describe what it is like to sing that song with a strong choir of 100 behind you.  Religious or not, you're gonna feel the spirit.  As an encore, my university voice instructor Chris Sanders, and my dear friend Della Bustamante joined me onstage for our rendition of Bridge Over Troubled Water/This Little Light of Mine.  To be found on the stage with those two ladies, the greatest talents I know--I'm starstruck and the luckiest girl in the world to collaborate with them. 

I was truly honored to be invited back to my alma mater, give some lessons, and hopefully impart some knowledge to high school and college music students.  Thank you Dr. Alt and NMSU Choirs for having me.  True to my rebellious fashion, I will not include recordings, or even pictures of  the show, but a recipe from my reception.  Enjoy!

Carrot Ginger Soup


Soup:
4 lbs carrots, diced
1 large sweet onion, diced
4-6 cups vegan bouillion ("Better Than Bouillion" is best)
1/3 c. grated ginger
3 Tbsp Olive Oil
Salt and pepper to taste


Yogurt:
1 c. plain Greek yogurt
1 Tbsp. honey
5 sprigs of thyme, chopped
Optional sunflower or pumpkin seeds to garnish

(The yogurt is best when made 24 hours before serving) Add thyme and honey to yogurt, mix thoroughly, and refrigerate overnight.

Sweat onion in a large stockpot with olive oil, until translucent. Add carrots, ginger, and bouillion. Bring to a boil, reduce heat and simmer for 40 minutes, or until carrots are soft. Puree soup with an immersion blender. Return to stockpot and warm over low heat.

Serve soup with a schmear of yogurt and a sprinkle of seeds, and impress the heck out of your guests!

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

YaaaaaaarnCon!

Last weekend, I manned a table at...

photo courtesy of YarnCon.com

I came, I saw, I knitted.  And I sold!  Finally, I feel like I have the right amount of inventory for a show of this size.   I met a girl who does roller derby.  I met a 12-year-old vegetarian who appreciates the cruelty-free nature of my art.  I met a guy who balanced a skein of yarn in his hat.  More about him later. 

photo courtesy of http://www.flickr.com/photos/moonrat/

The event took place at the Pulaski Park Fieldhouse, a large recreational building that is part of the Chicago Park District.  Other craft fairs happen here, and the photo opportunities alone are enough reason to set up there.  Unfortunately, I didn't get to be a resident in the super cool photo-op room, but maybe next year. 

Handmade knit/crochet tables like mine were vastly outnumbered by booths draped in yarn, and ready-to-spin fibres.  Although it's always nice to have a partner at these fairs, I was glad to be stuck at my station, unable to blow my whole paycheck on these amazing materials. 

Also, I was surrounded by experienced knitters.  They could take one look at my designs and figure them out in their heads.  Those who couldn't, asked if they could purchase the patterns.  Note to self: You need to write and publish patterns on Ravelry!  Maybe one a month for a year.  Fruit Suits, Schneeds, perhaps the Fox Scarf.   I kicked myself a little for not having some nice printouts to sell.  Lesson learned. 


photo courtesy of http://www.flickr.com/photos/moonrat/

Pictured above is the gym where I set up shop.  Can you see Mannequiña in the back corner?  The coordinators and several vendors came around throughout the day to make sure we were okay, and asked if we needed a coffee break.  One such visit was paid by a coordinator's husband, who told me all about their recent adventure at Yarn School.  I really think I'm going to save up some pennies and go next year.  This couple renovated an empty high school in Kansas, turned classrooms into dorms, and now teach one-week classes in spinning, dyeing, and felting.  It sounds like summer camp, and I can't stop thinking about it. 

My next door neighbor at the fair was Fabi and her Amigurumi creations from Polka Dot Umbrellas.  I only wondered for a moment why she doesn't use plastic eyes like in my Foxy Woxy scarf.  After checking out her Etsy shop, my suspicion was confirmed that her designs are 100% baby-friendly, no choking hazards.  Smart cookie, that Fabi.  The red lobster is my favorite.  If you know anyone having a baby, even if you need something custom, look her up. 

And finally...
photo courtesy of http://www.flickr.com/photos/moonrat/
He's the perfect husband.  This young man strolled through the 'Con, displaying a new color scheme of his wife's yarn every round.  I don't know any other hubbies out there who sacrifice their Saturday to literally act as a walking advertisement for a craft booth.  Bravo, yarn guy!  You deserve a beer. 

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Lady Luck

After a botched application to Renegade's Holiday Bazaar, I was feeling down.  My pictures are up to snuff.  My Etsy is up and running.  My confidence in my product is through the roof.  I have great descriptions--you can barely get me to shut up about how funny and inventive my knitting is.  My problem is whittling that wonderfulness into a 75-word spiel.  That was my downfall with Renegade.  I have a whole year for my verbage to lose a few pounds.  I can do it.  Or I'll get a friend to do it for me.  Psst... I'll make cupcakes for you!  I chose to treat my Renegade failure as an open date to find another craft show.  I have found several, and I'm getting booked up for the whole season.  Since my luck turned on a dime, I decided to do the previously unthinkable. 

I bought a Powerball ticket on my 13th anniversary with Marky. 

This was the first time I'd ever bought a lottery ticket.  Oh, sure.  I've done scratch offs.  But Powerball?   That's the sort of thing sensible people wait over a decade to do.  To my surprise, we won $7.  Presently, I've officially got the fever.  I now must enter every contest I can get my hands on.  Here's a rundown of what I'm involved in.

Martha Stewart Daily Giveaway Calendar:  Darling Martha is teaming up with JoAnn Crafts to give a little something away every single day for the rest of the month.  You can enter twice a day.  I'm making sure to uncheck all the junk email and snail mail boxes, so as to not be inundated with advertisements.  I'm enough of a fan, thank you. 

Craft For a Cause:  The gals in UCN have joined me in our quest to win this badboy.  Winner gets a $1500 gift card to Joann.  That's alotta craft nights.  We are going to make something very special for a local charity, and I will be sure to blog the whole thing.  I've never done this particular craft before, and I'm giddy with antcipation.  The kicker is that you can only enter once, with one item.  However, since there are several of us giving individual items to the same charity, we are increasing our charity's chances of also winning.  If our crafts are picked as winners, our charity has a chance of winning a huge jackpot.  Even if we don't win, we've supported a good cause.  More to come on that project. 

HGTV Urban Oasis Giveaway:  This was a tip from my mom.  She wants me to enter every day.  By golly, we are going to win this sumbitch.  Then we'll never have to pay for a hotel when we go see Broadway shows.  Maybe if I own a flat in New York, I can establish residency to attend some fancy art school so that I can get some Crafty McCredentials!

photo courtesy of His Glory Hand Knits
His Glory Hand Knits Giveaway:  Here's what I found while doing a Google search for "Craft Contests 2010." There is some lovely lime green yarn at stake here.  Rather than being able to enter every day, like Martha, this blogger is allowing readers to get several chances at the booty by mentioning her contest in our respective blogs, and becoming followers.  So, here ya go.

 Martha Stewart Sweepstakes:  Back to the Crafty One.  Marky and I like to sing along with her theme song at 11am.  We love Sharky and Francesca.  We even love when she gets testy with her superstar guests.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with this show.  And let's not forget, this woman has been to prison.  I need to win tickets for Marky and me to see her show.  Martha, I will be the one in row seven, knitting a banana fruit suit.  Marky will be the one with the beer cozy. 

Friday, August 13, 2010

Spiral Pens


Something special happened on Tuesday.  I don't know what it was, but some have called this the best Unconditional Craft Night EVER.  Those people may have also been drinking.  In any case, let me indulge you with the glorious art of of Spiral Pens.  

You'll need to choose three contrasting colors of Sculpey or Fimo polymer clay. I like to use one dark color, one light, and one metallic. These first few photos are a dramatic re-enactment, because we were so caught up in the excitment of conditioning the clay on UCN, we didn't take photos. Sometimes you just gotta live, you know?


First, break a chunk of clay off and moosh it down a little into a fat pancake.  Roll it through the pasta machine (aka Clay Conditioning Device, aka High-Tech Molecule Redistributor) on the widest setting.  


(Moving on to a new color, same technique) fold the sheet of clay in half, and crank it through the ringer.  Keep folding and rolling on the same setting until the clay is approximately the same texture as a square of American cheese.  You can repeat this process as many times as you want.  You are only limited by how high you can count.  Once you have a nice square/rectangle, decrease the clay conditioner setting a notch or two.  Do not fold the clay.  Decrease again, roll again, and repeat, until you are at the second or third from the last setting.  Note to crafty cheese lovers: resist the temptation to roll Pub Cheese, Brie Cheese, or even a hearty Gouda through the Clay Conditioning Device.  Unless you've been drinking, and then it's okay.  


Try your best to get the sheets of clay to be the same size and shape.  This is not an exact science, so don't sweat it if you have some crummy edges.  Stack them together like a sandwich, press gently and uniformly so all three layers are sealed together.  Change the clay conditioning machine back to the widest setting, and send all three sheets through.  Cut the crusts off the sandwich, as it were.


Now, roll up your clay sandwich like a tight burrito.  Or sushi maki.  Or a jelly roll, whatever makes you happy.  Using gentle pressure, roll the burrito back and forth, until you have a snake of clay about 1/2" thick.  With a sharp razor ("Safety First" was the motto of this UCN), slice the ragged ends off the snake to reveal a perfect tri-color swirl.     


Slice 1/8" medallions off of the snake.  If you want to be extra crafty, stop slicing once you're about 2/3 of the way through the snake.  Take the remaining 1/3 and roll it into a thinner coil.  Then slice away.  Now you'll have two sizes of spirals to work with!  Celebrate your ingenuity with a cocktail.


Remove the meat of the pen with pliers.  All you need to cook these babies is the outer plastic shell.  We used clear plastic Bic Pens, and they didn't warp at all in the oven.  Working one at a time, press clay spirals all over the pen shell.  You can overlap them, join them tightly together like bricks, switch colors, whatever you please.  Once the pen is covered, you can roll it gently on the tabletop to smooth out the bumps and fingerprints.  Bumpy is a nice look, too.  The most important thing is that the whole pen shell is covered.  Try not to let any clay get in the hole where the ink cartridge will fit back in.  Now's the time to avoid restructuring issues.  


Bake the pens in a preheated 250˚ oven.  This is a little lower temp than recommended on the clay package, it ensures you won't melt the pen.  To keep the designs from cooking unevenly, you might want to suspend them in midair.  You can do this by sticking bamboo skewers in a foil ball and hanging the pens on the skewers, or stick a little clay in a baking dish and stick the skewers in there.   Bake for 15 minutes.  Just enough time to enjoy a frosty beverage.


And here are our final products.  The last step is letting your piece of art cool, and replacing the ink cartridge.  As you can see, we used two different color palettes, and those two eventually got mixed up into new designs.  This was a fun, easy, and cheap craft.  Cheers, Michele and Kristin, again, for all the great pictures!!