Introducing Maureen

Alright, this is the 5th time I have started this blog.  I think it fitting that I finally gathered the courage to write a story about Maureen today.  It is her birthday!  Happy Birthday, Mom.

We were in a hurry to get me into this world, and the two of us have not slowed down since.  Mom is a doer.  We couldn't even wait for my dad to park the car before I popped out of her belly.  She took me Christmas shopping and had my ears pierced before I was one week old.  I'm not sure if she had a name for me by then (the birth certificate still says "Female Del Campo"), but we spared no time in getting on with life.  Birth Schmirth. 

Fun plates, stationery, and embroidery are my favorite memories of childhood.  Fun plates were dinner creations that usually included Triscuits topped with cold cuts and mustard, and oranges sliced in half, dipped in powdered sugar.  They were served on our colorful Heller dishes, and were accompanied by Sprite, dyed any color we wanted.  At what age do we realize that our favorite meal was really a cleverly-named fridge-cleaning session, or lack of resources?  Either way, I think I might make fun plates for dinner tonight. 

My mom worked at The Looking Glass, a gift shop that sold high-end home accessories, paper goods, candles, etc.  In the back room, she and her coworkers had access to an engraving machine for brass items, and an imprinting machine to personalize stationery.  Mom always made sure Chris and I had our own stockpile.  We left professional, envelopped notes for each other every morning.  She saved a lot of them.  It's funny and touching to see her children learning to express themselves through the written word.  Every parent should do this.

I cannot take credit for being the original Crafty McSchnafty.  With the aid of her enlarging projector, iron-on pencil, and endless bag of embroidery thread, mom could recreate Peter Rabbit's garden on broadcloth in what seemed like minutes.  If mom's friends' kids weren't waking up to an embroidered nameplate hung on their wall, they were definitely falling asleep under a quilted canvas of her French knots, satin stitches, and lazy daisies.   

Everyone goes through a time when they want to break free and piss off their parents.  Mom made it tough.  When I told her I wanted to dye my hair purple, she grabbed the gloves and dyed it for me.  When I wanted to get more ear piercings, she sterilized the needle and pierced.  When I decided to paint my room black, she grabbed the paint roller.  We had our share of disagreements, but that just what happens when you place two strong, sharp women in the same house. 

Things you might not know about Maureen:  With the right partner, she is the best jitterbugger on the dance floor.  She is left-handed.  In addition to starring in countless radio and TV commercials, she hosted TV's Romper Room, a chat show called "Everybody's Talking", and puppeteered Sissy on "Captain Mac and Sissy".  Mom loves ketchup.  She knows how to tell one joke in Spanish--the punchline is, "Meatballs, didn't you know?"  The day she was to be crowned Homecoming Queen, Kennedy was assassinated, and the ceremony was cancelled.  She was finally crowned 20 years later at her high school reunion.  She has seen Phantom of the Opera over 25 times.  Maureen played nickel slots with Emilio Estevez, flirted with Trent Reznor, interviewed George Peppard, and slept with Tom Selleck...  Okay, she fell asleep on a plane, and Tom Selleck sat beside her.  She didn't know he was there until the plane landed! 

Things my mother taught me:  Fake it till you make it.  Don't sleep past 9 on the weekends.  You can make a game out of any chore.  Pay in cash.  Getting a bad grade on your report card for talking in class isn't the end of the world.  Write Thank-You notes.  Clean as you go.  Follow your dream.  And most importantly, Life is an adventure.