If I Knew Then

Bret Michaels has been on my mind, like many others from my generation.  A couple things before I get sappy:  Never was there a prettier boy in glam rock.  Bret was the absolute apex.  I wanted lip gloss like his.  He was so beautiful, I forced myself to focus on the more attainable drummer, Rikki Rockett.  Facing the Bret fantasy was too much for my adolescent, Aqua-Netted heart.  There was plenty of room on my walls, but I taped up a Poison poster in my closet because I couldn't deal with Bret's image in my actual bedroom.  When Open Up and Say... Ahh! dropped, I got the early unedited cassette jacket, because I was such a devoted and speedy fan. 

Watching the late showing of Oprah last night, I couldn't have been the only one who got misty as oh-so-composed Raine verbalized her feelings about her rocker dad's mortality.  She's obviously a well-adjusted kid, accustomed to medical issues with Bret's diabetes.  Then I stepped back and thought about what a hot mess his family life must be.  Oprah rolls the montage of his girlfriend, their two kids together, then clips from this Rock of Love slut-fest.  Sidebar: I have very little interest in reality television, and I don't have VH-1, so I basically live in a  make-believe world where the show never existed.  And how real is it, really, if he goes home to his family at the end of the day?  I'm probably getting into fan territory I'm unequipped to respond to, so be gentle.  Anyway, this montage showed me the life of a rock star in the truest sense.  Bret has made the choice to live life on is terms, despite health and lipgloss issues. 

I've listened to Look What The Cat Dragged In about seven times on my Grooveshark playlist.  Hearing I Won't Forget You drummed up memories of my bad choices in music, hair, and clothing.  To be honest, though, I didn't go too far over the line as far as being an obnoxious teen.  There are things I could've done that wouldn't have killed me, wouldn't have ruined my chances at a career.  In fact, a few different choices might have made my tween photo albums a little more interesting.  I wanted action.  I cried tough.  For Bret, and his rock star lifestyle, I dedicate a list of...

8 Rock Star Things I Should've Done in School, But Didn't

• Lied about not having a chaperone, and gone to the Pearl Jam show with Julie.
• Dyed my hair Cookie Monster Blue.
• Smoked pot with the first guy who offered it to me (I won't name names, but I totally shamed him when he offered, and have felt badly ever since).
• Sung House of the Rising Sun a little more gnarly at the guitar concert sophomore year.
• Skipped out on my paper route for a day to participate in the spelling bee in 7th grade (I know, dorky on dorkier.  But I thought I had a future in hurling newspapers, and didn't want to risk it for some silly potential scholarship).
• Would've replied, "je m'en fou" when my guidance counselor told me she didn't think I'd benefit from taking French IV class. 
• Turned in my application to the quirky Beeps gift shop in Nob Hill.  Their application was a one-page Xerox copy framed with funky clip art, and after filling out the necessary info, I colored the whole thing with crayons. Then I had second thoughts and threw it away.  Looking back, not only would they have hired me, they probably would have made me a manager.  
• Made some effort at improvising.  My guitar teacher tried to give me the tools, but I was too scared to make a mistake in front of the class.  And my whole musical career has followed that same path. 

I would've made a top ten list, but I could only come up with eight regrets.  I suppose it's fortunate to have only a few.  I hope Bret is all better soon, I'm keeping my fingers crossed for The Apprentice final, and I'm going to order hard copies of my two fave Poison albums today.