This Is Why I Wax Poetic About Green Chile, Man.

This is becoming an addicti---tradition.  The last four times I've been to Albuquerque, I've visited The Range six times.   Marky and I thought it was just a lucky find outside our La Quinta but it turns out this is a really popular spot, with three locations in town.  I'm not much for popular, but The Range is irresistable.  And I've only ever gotten one thing.  It's a Southwestern breakfast staple, but Huevos Rancheros never appealed to me before coming here.  

Here's some Southwestern mosaic work outside the front door.  The place is actually filled with wacky 3-D artwork (Papier-mâché lanterns, coffee cups hanging on canvas, mailboxes disguised as trailers, and more) but I'm going to let you discover it for yourself when you make a trip out there. 

Ok, I'll give you this gigantic mirror framed in antlers!  Although this is the most impressive piece of art in the place, it's not really representative of what you'll find there.  I tried to get this picture with our fantastically beautiful waiter for some perspective.  Forget perspective--put him on the cover of GQ.  Anyway, this place is not an elk lodge.  Just take a trip to New Mexico, you wacky Midwesterners.  Trust me.  

This is it.  Huevos Rancheros. "Two eggs atop blue corn tortillas, white cheddar cheese, served with Range Frries, pinto beans and flour tortilla on the side.  Smothered with red or green chile."  The problem with the menu, is that this particular item is highlighted as a favorite by the Alibi, a local newspaper.  Who can disagree with a million New Mexicans?!  By the way, all New Mexican fare tastes better served on a hot FiestaWare dish.  In lemongrass, no less.  Our devastatingly handsome waiter must have seen into my soul when he picked that color for me.  

       

Well, there is the I-25 Omelette: "(It'll  get you to Denver!) diced ham, red bell pepper, onion, and cheddar cheese topped with green chile."  When I had a moment of indecision, my mom offered to get this dish so that I could have a sampling of each.  Although mom and I both found it impossible to speak when our gorgeous server asked how everything was, we were very pleased.  

Easy Bake Lovin'

Here's what I want for breakfast.  I want someone else to decide for me.  I'll go for anything.  But when Marky suggested we go to a bakery for brunch, I scrunched up my nose. 

Boy, was I wrong to scrunch.

I'd passed Angel Food Bakery several times and noticed the whimsical signage, but thought I'd only find cookies and cupcakes within this mecca of perky retro decor.  This corner storefront is painted and accessorized in apple green and turquoise, and the staff is equally as colorful and sweet as the scenery.  We pored over the menu, and gazed at decades of vintage Easy Bake Ovens, high atop the cornice spanning the width of every wall.  Although the lunch menu is compact, every dish seems to be a winner.  The Niçoise salad and brisket sandwich were my top contenders until, in a frenzy of capricious indecision, I chose the vegetable tart!  Marky ordered a green salad, which was anything but boring.  Luckily I got the same salad on the side of my dish, otherwise I would have had to bat my eyelashes doubletime to get a few bites of his green-appled, lemon-vinaigretted deliciousness.  Asparagus, bell pepper, cheese and leeks danced in this delicate pie crust that could only have come from the hands of an expert pâtissière.  And bonus of bonuses, we happened in on Earth Day, and enjoyed coffee on the house!

Stepping up to the register, I insisted that we have some sort of dessert.  Marky genrally resists, but how could we?  I mean, there were Airstreams, Igloos, Whoopie Pies, S'mores, and Thin Mints calling out to us.  At the very least, we had to share something.  We settled on a chocolate-covered sour cherry macaroon.  Oh my.  What a naughty little dessert!  I think I blushed upon the first bite. 

Angel Food Bakery, you have won me over.  I shall return to try the rest of your menu, and to find out what exactly is inside the Airstream's foil wrapper...

When Does a Swatch Become a Remnant?

I almost wrote this as a status update on Facebook, but the thought is just a little too long for that small venue:

Dear Starbuck's Barista,

My apologies for misleading you when I ordered a "large" coffee.  Beaten down by I long day at the office, I was looking forward to some caffeine rejuvenation before an also long rehearsal.  The spouse of a former barista.  I should have known better.  Oh, the mountain of regret as that little word slipped out.  Mea culpa.  I encountered the most basic of syntax errors, but in so quickly (and let's be honest, unnecessarily)  correcting me, so did you.  The word is "venti," pronounced ven-TEE.  Not ven-TAY.     

Let's agree to disagré.

Sincerely,

The Princess of Diction