YaaaaaaarnCon!

Last weekend, I manned a table at...



photo courtesy of YarnCon.com



I came, I saw, I knitted.  And I sold!  Finally, I feel like I have the right amount of inventory for a show of this size.   I met a girl who does roller derby.  I met a 12-year-old vegetarian who appreciates the cruelty-free nature of my art.  I met a guy who balanced a skein of yarn in his hat.  More about him later. 



photo courtesy of http://www.flickr.com/photos/moonrat/



The event took place at the Pulaski Park Fieldhouse, a large recreational building that is part of the Chicago Park District.  Other craft fairs happen here, and the photo opportunities alone are enough reason to set up there.  Unfortunately, I didn't get to be a resident in the super cool photo-op room, but maybe next year. 

Handmade knit/crochet tables like mine were vastly outnumbered by booths draped in yarn, and ready-to-spin fibres.  Although it's always nice to have a partner at these fairs, I was glad to be stuck at my station, unable to blow my whole paycheck on these amazing materials. 

Also, I was surrounded by experienced knitters.  They could take one look at my designs and figure them out in their heads.  Those who couldn't, asked if they could purchase the patterns.  Note to self: You need to write and publish patterns on Ravelry!  Maybe one a month for a year.  Fruit Suits, Schneeds, perhaps the Fox Scarf.   I kicked myself a little for not having some nice printouts to sell.  Lesson learned. 



photo courtesy of http://www.flickr.com/photos/moonrat/



Pictured above is the gym where I set up shop.  Can you see Mannequiña in the back corner?  The coordinators and several vendors came around throughout the day to make sure we were okay, and asked if we needed a coffee break.  One such visit was paid by a coordinator's husband, who told me all about their recent adventure at Yarn School.  I really think I'm going to save up some pennies and go next year.  This couple renovated an empty high school in Kansas, turned classrooms into dorms, and now teach one-week classes in spinning, dyeing, and felting.  It sounds like summer camp, and I can't stop thinking about it. 

My next door neighbor at the fair was Fabi and her Amigurumi creations from Polka Dot Umbrellas.  I only wondered for a moment why she doesn't use plastic eyes like in my Foxy Woxy scarf.  After checking out her Etsy shop, my suspicion was confirmed that her designs are 100% baby-friendly, no choking hazards.  Smart cookie, that Fabi.  The red lobster is my favorite.  If you know anyone having a baby, even if you need something custom, look her up. 


And finally...

photo courtesy of http://www.flickr.com/photos/moonrat/

He's the perfect husband.  This young man strolled through the 'Con, displaying a new color scheme of his wife's yarn every round.  I don't know any other hubbies out there who sacrifice their Saturday to literally act as a walking advertisement for a craft booth.  Bravo, yarn guy!  You deserve a beer. 

Stitch 'n Bitch Loaded

Welcome to Stitch 'n Bitch Loaded, where you don't need experience to be a Hooker! You too can be a part of this wild, weekly, Wednesday experience every week from 7pm to 9pm. Bring your needles, hooks, yarn, string, floss, whatever you're working on. Jenny, our lovely and talented host will liven your life with luscious libations while playing the roles of DJ and bartender. Don't know know a treble crochet from a hole in the ground? The illustrious Jessy is here to teach you! As fast as you can say "worsted weight," she'll get you casting on, and hooking to your heart's content. Join the raffle for one of Crafty McSchnafty's adorable Fruit Suits, given away every week.

Don't delay. Join the hottest Hookers in Chicago!

My Plagiarized Article From The Chicago Sun Times

Hooking is a way of life for North Sider

May 3, 2010

BY MARK J. KONKOL Staff Reporter

Bree Gordon is a hooker. She even has a hooker alias -- Crafty McSchnafty.

"I'm a hooker with a lot of experience," Gordon says with a sly smile, over coffee in Uptown. "My mother named me after the classy call girl in the movie "Klute." So, really, I was born for this."

Bree Gordon is a crocheting craftswoman who is part of a social knitting circle at Mother's on Division. She also fronts a Ukrainian wedding band.

Gordon says her husband doesn't mind. In fact, he's very supportive -- after all her hooking brings in a little extra cash.

Wednesday nights, you'll find Gordon working the room at Mother's on Division with a bunch of other hookers. They drink beer and listening to rap music while they go about their hooking -- crocheting (and knitting), that is -- during the singles bar's weekly knitting circle dubbed "Stick 'n' Bitch."

While other kids were learning the trick to downing a beer bong in one gulp at New Mexico State University, a nerdy friend was teaching Gordon how to crochet. A perfectionist, Gordon quickly fell in love with the exactness of the yarn work.

"I find it's like architecture, building a structure," she says. "I like the math and perfection of it. Every time I knit self-striping socks to look identical, I do a little happy dance."

But it wasn't until her husband had a serious health scare a few years back that she really got, well, hooked on it.

"He was in the hospital for a month, and I had hours and hours sitting there to either go crazy or do something," she says. "I knitted 300 scarves. My husband didn't have insurance, so I raised a little bit of money selling those scarves. I sold all of them."

Her husband recovered after a kidney transplant. And Gordon, who lives in Edgewater, took her yarn work to the next level. She graduated from rectangular blankets and scarves to hats and leg warmers. A while back, she put together her first bikini.

And she has recently come up with a new knitted concoction she calls the "fruit suit." It's a yarn button-up wrap for the brown-bag lunch set aimed at protecting fruit from getting bruised. Plus, Gordon says, the fruit suit will ripen a green banana overnight.

"It's really ridiculous," Gordon says. "But I got the idea from my always-serious friend who, after she had a couple glasses of wine, said, 'I want you to knit a sweater from my banana. But make it look just like my banana.' She cracked herself up. A couple days later, I had one for her. She was giddy."

Now, Gordon knits fruit suits for apples, bananas, oranges, peaches and pears and sells them for $12 apiece on her website, craftymcschnafty .com.

A secretary by day, Gordon says she hopes that one day all this hooking and needling might become a successful business.

If not, she's still chasing the dream that lead her to Chicago in the first place -- to sing the blues. She fronts a Ukrainian wedding band called Rendezvous.

"I don't know the traditional songs, but in the second set, I sing some Donna Summer, Lady GaGa. I'll sing anything. I'm a stage hound."

Purl Paranoia

During the last three weeks, I've been advised by other small business owners.  I didn't really consider Crafty McSchnafty a "business" until now.  The b-word  is so stuffy, right?  And it was really more of a hobby that paid for my yarn addiction.  True, I have designed a couple patterns for fruit suits, and yes, I've sold some stuff.  However, I don't think it's going to be my main source of income until I can get my sweaty mug printed on millions of skeins of yarn.  Side note: My yarn will only come in green.  Dozens of shades of green.  Two different artist/lady/friends have told me that the minute I declare myself a business owner/designer, then it becomes true.  Ok, world...

I'M A DESIGNER WHO RUNS A SMALL B-B-BUSINESS! 

Now what?  I feel there should be some sort of ritual, more than just a declaration.  What would make me feel official?  Paperwork!  When you purchase an item from a business, you get a receipt.  So I bought a book of receipts for this art expo thing I'm doing in April.  Even though they don't have my name printed on them, I feel very business-y.  Next, designers make and follow patterns, yes?  Well, even before I read Fahrenheit 451˚, I loved the rote method of teaching and learning the arts.  Admittedly, though, I'm getting bogged down.  Rather than than allowing all these fruit suit, schneed, hat, and arm/legwarmer ideas to continue rattling around in my head, I've written them down.  I would love for a master knitter to look at them (much like I used to call on my dear voice instructor to check my rudimentary arranging attempts), and pat me on the head for my effort.  It is a great relief and a proud designer moment for me.  Maybe I'll publish a book of patterns.  Which brings me to my next quandry;  Should I only share these ideas for a fee? 

Aside from two paid half-hour lessons in knit and crochet and a $12.50 tip I left in Silver's e-jar, I've pirated the vast majority of my stitch vocabulary from blogs and free internet sites.  Do I pay it forward?  Did I steal from starving artists, or did I get a bone from some rich, bored suburban housewife?  Perhaps I need to move forward and not worry about the past.

Either way, I have two events coming up in April that feature my b-word.  *Fingers crossed* I will run out of receipts at said events.  Crafty will keep you posted.  

Once a Hooker, Always a Hooker

Last Wednesday was St. Paddy's Day, so Stitch 'n Bitch at Mother's Too was on a one week hiatus.  After the banana-ganza from two weeks before, I needed to up the ante on the raffle item.  Marky suggested I bring the pear Fruit Suit.  Pure brilliance.

I arrived a couple minutes after 7pm, to find several friendly faces.  Jessy got right to work teaching the newbies how to cast on.  There were three new gals, and I tried to help fill in the gaps when Jessy couldn't be in three places at once.  I kinda felt like the poorly behaved aunt from Las Vegas, encouraging tight cast-on rows, and fixing the girls' dropped stitches rather that letting them make mistakes.  What can I say?  I'm a terrible influence.  We had some laughs, and Jessy deftly undid the harm I inflicted. 

At 9pm, it was time for the raffle.  Jenny presented the Fruit Suit to all the patrons.  When the pear came back to me for safe keeping, I noticed that the first button was undone, and I quickly fixed it.  For the mere price of an email address, every willing beverage consumer was entered in the contest.  The pear went for one more spin around the room, and came back with the damn button undone.  I felt a secret shame that perhaps I'd offered a raffle prize with a faulty buttonhole.   Jessy drew a name from the hat, and a very excited gentleman claimed his prize.  I went to shake his hand, and to cover up my buttonhole flaw, I encouraged him to undo the top button.  "Oh no," he resisted, "I want them ALL undone!"  And we both cracked up, he tickled by the sexy pear, I finally realizing that he was the one undoing the button everytime the pear traveled about.

 

After the patrons and students cleared out, Jessy and I quietly grooved and crocheted flowers to the tunes of Earth, Wind, and Fire.  I officially hate leaving Stitch 'n Bitch.  It's a good nerdy time for hookers.

Hide The Banana!

In my search for a knitting community, I stumbled across a Craigslist ad asking for knit and crochet teachers to submit their websites.  Not entirely sure what I was getting into, I took the bait.  I got a cheerful response from Jenny who informed me the teaching position had been filled, but I was still invited to a regular Wednesday Stitch 'n' Bitch.  She also asked if I had a raffle item to offer, in exchange for some free advertising on the event page.  Mere hours before, the Fruit Suit (aka Banana Hammock, aka Johnny Coat, aka Willie Warmer) had been born and photographed.  I emailed a pic, and before I knew it, my little banana cozy was the official photo for the event!  After blushing with joy, I got to work making a few more, just in case.

At this time, I should probably mention the grey matter behind the Fruit Suit.  Girls' Weekend in Utica.  Two days, five funny ladies, seven bottles of wine.  After watching me knit an American Flag hat for the Knitting Olympics, my friend Amanda told me she wanted me to knit a fruit cozy for a banana.  I asked what color.  She wanted it to look just like a banana, of course.  Hysterical laughter ensued.  She probably thought I'd forget after Girls' Weekend.  Crafty McSchnafty never forgets an order. 

The name "Fruit Suit" was not my idea, either.  I left the banana cover on my desk at work, and asked passers by what the official name should be.  There were many decent contenders, but after two days of searching, my manager Ridge came up with the magical appelation (or is it apple-ation?).  

I flew solo to Mother's Too in Gold Coast.  I was pathetically early, and recognized Jenny from the event photos.  She was manning the bar, and admitted that Stitch 'n' Bitch attendance was unpredictable at best.  I assured her I was happy knitting and having a glass of wine.  Jenny (who is also a photographer) and I chatted about running a small business.  Then a gentleman at the bar, a contract physician for the military, offered his two business cents.  I ended up with a weatlh of very helpful and encouraging advice from these small business owners. 

The crochet instructor, Jessy, showed up.  In addition to increasing the fiber artist population by 100%, she was incredibly sweet and approachable.  We had a spirited discussion of crochet vs. knit.  In my toolbox, I unearthed a crochet hook, and asked Jessy if she would teach me to crochet a flower.  Crocheting circles has been a discipline I could never wrap my head around, but Jessy made it easy and clear.  I got into the cro-zone somewhere between Earth, Wind, and Fire and Eminem.  Oh, the pride I felt after completing my first crochet bloom!  My big yellow sunflower is tied to my camouflage backpack, currently. 

So, who's in for March 24th?

I'm a Hustler, Baby

So, I have a website!

Need to cover your face and ears with a fashion Schneed?
CraftyMcSchnafty.com.

Do you have a problem with your apple's nudity?
CraftyMcSchnafty.com.

Plain scarves bore you to death?
CraftyMcSchnafty.com.

Think tea towels should be adorned with pinup girls?
CraftyMcSchnafty.com.

Searched high and low for a cupcake with a tiny taco on top?
CraftyMcSchnafty.com.

Tell your friends!